A Christian Marriage Experiencing Unexpected Habits

INTRODUCTION: INFIDELITY IS NOT THE ONLY THING THAT BREAK UP MARRIAGES- The Unexpected HABITS of Your Spouse”–  is when your spouse is found to be  emotionally engaged in unexpected characteristics that are significantly frustrating to you….   How will you handle it?  

The Story of George & Tierra

A Christian Marriage Experiencing Unexpected Habits

relationship-23George and Tierra dated each other for about 12 months and finally decided that it was time to get married.  They weren’t living together at the time, but they did decide to live at George’s spacious new home after their wedding.  They attended all the necessary marriage counseling sessions; they asked and answered plenty of questions and felt they had a solid foundation in which to successfully build a long-lasting  marriage relationship.

relationship-7The wedding was a success. The excitement was very high. George and Tierra felt ready to immerse themselves into a blessed life of joy and happiness. After six months of some magnificent loving, the couple began to let their hair down, (sort-of-speak).  And that is when everything began to change. To their surprise, they soon began discovering certain activities performed by their partner that was not fully disclosed during their courtship.

George was familiar with Tierra’s enjoyment of helping others.  But he was not aware as to what extent she would help.  He discovered that she was letting her younger sister borrow their car without talking it over with him first; her cousins were coming in and out the house to wash clothes without bringing their own washing powder; and she had even agreed to babysit for her brother’s girlfriend for the weekend…..  George had seen people take advantage of his Mom all his life and he vowed not to let it happen to him and his family.  He was furious at his wife’s actions and knew he had to have a long talk with her, but he wasn’t sure how to approach it yet.  Needless to say, the romance settled down significantly.  But Tierra was so lost in her enjoyment of helping other people, that she simply waved off George’s distant behavior as just him having a bad day.

As far as Tierra was concerned, the marriage was going pretty well, (so she thought), until the day she returned home from the grocery store and saw George cleaning a stack of guns that were left by his uncle as an inheritance. George was getting ready for practicing at the Gun Range down the street.  This was her first time seeing the guns. They were stored in a private section of the back room. Tierra knew about George’s love for watching the hunting channel on TV, and how his Uncle took him hunting when he was a little kid; but she was not about to tolerate any guns in the house. Her two cousins shot themselves by mistake with their father’s guns and she vowed never to have guns in her house.  After expressing this to George, she stormed up to the bedroom crying.

It wasn’t looking good for George and Tierra.  Their beautiful days of dating, and those six months of marital bliss were now fading away.  They both had strong emotional attachments to the things that were causing frustration to the other party.  The effects of these unexpected emotional attachments were not a part of their marital plans.

Tierra’s Mom always told her that it is more blessed to give than to receive.  “Giving is fun!” her Mom would say.  And so it became fun for Tierra.  She couldn’t see how she was being taken advantage of, even though, the people she helped never would put gas in the car, or bought any washing powder, or paid for the baby-sitting.  George’s experience was completely different. He grew up in a bad neighborhood.  So-called friends and family members took great advantage of his Mom’s kindness, but was never there for her.  And when his Mom died, the only thing anyone really wanted to know, was rather or not she left anything for them.  Uncle Jim was the only true friend of the family.

George’s father left his Mom stranded without financial support, but Uncle Jim stepped in to be a father image to George and spent quality time with him while taking him hunting.  When Uncle Jim died, George inherited his guns, and as far as George was concerned, no one was going to take them away. Uncle Jim was the only one who cared in his life while everybody else took advantage of his Mom.

Tierra had her own view on the gun issue due to her two cousins finding their father’s guns and accidentally shooting themselves.  She loved her cousins and miss them and was determined to never have that happen in her house.  She was ready to fight this to the max.

Tierra began —hitting below the belt—, she knew that George wanted a son, but she was so furious at his love for those guns that she threaten to have her tubes tied if he didn’t get rid of them, saying, “I’m not having any of my children end up like my cousins!”  George was livid at Tierra’s lack of respect. He blurted out, “How in the heck are you so darn willing to give help to everybody else in this whole darn world but can’t find the decency to give me a small space to honor a man who stepped in when my real father stepped out…..  What you need to do is stop letting folks in my house and borrowing my car without my permission!  And I definitely don’t want any darn kids running around here until my own kids had an opportunity to enjoy it!”

This was really becoming a very heated situation in which they found themselves going days without actually speaking to each other.  However, when those intense fleshy desirable cravings for intimacy became unbearable, they found some miraculous energy to set aside their crazy quarrels for the purpose of enjoying some good love time together for a few minutes, in which after that was over, they resumed their furious disagreements with even more passion.

One day, George came home after work, and instead of heading to the bedroom, as was his custom, he flopped on the sofa to relax.  He noticed the decorated wall canvas that Tierra put up on the first day they moved in.  But he wished he had never seen it.  Not today! He desperately wanted to rip it down and throw it in the garbage before Tierra got home. But the thought of doing so, filled him with painful guilt. It had a message on the canvas which read…. “A Marriage that Prays Together, Stays Together”  After reading it, it was terribly difficult for him to erase it out of his mind.  He shook his head and began heading up the stairs to the bedroom, mumbling to himself, saying,  “I would rather get my teeth pulled than to pray with that woman!”

Later on that same day, Tierra comes home from a wonderful time hanging out with her girlfriends and, seeing the front door open, decides to go through the front.  The moment she entered the house, her face quickly changed from an enjoyable cheerful feature, into an irritated and sorrowful state. She was noticing the message on that decorated wall canvas…. A message that was popping with great dominance before her eyes. She hadn’t noticed it for a long while, but today, it grabbed her like a correction officer handcuffing a criminal.  She just couldn’t take looking at it, so she took it off the wall and hid it in the basement, and then proceeded upstairs to the bedroom hoping to get some sleep.

George and Tierra were still sleeping in the same room.  The bed was big enough for them to sleep comfortably without having to touch one another.  They spoke to each other only when they had to speak and remained consistently unmovable concerning their views.

That night, George decided to pray in hopes that God would put some sense into his wife.  He got out the bed and on his knees, in which, afterwards, found himself lost for words as to what to say. Tierra turned to see what he was doing and saw that he was on his knees praying.  She said within herself, “I guess I better pray too, otherwise, God may get on his side.” So she got on her knees to pray, and she too, found herself lost for words. Both of them wanted God to fix the other person.

Suddenly, without warning, they both found themselves in a trans.  Neither of them knew what was going on with the other.  In George’s vision, he saw his two sons (which were not yet born) sneak the keys out his coat pocket to unlock the backroom door where the guns were.  They both began to play with the guns and instantly shot each other in the legs by mistake.  George was stunned to tears by this vision and was unable to move for a long time.

On the other side of the bed, Tierra was having her own vision. She saw her Mom (who died a few years ago) sitting on the front porch. Tierra’s four cousins were spending the night with her Mom. Three of the cousins went into her Mom’s bedroom going through her purse and drawers and taking as much money as they needed.  One of the cousins asked, “Shouldn’t we ask if we should take this much money?” The other cousin said, “No, don’t worry about it. She’s always giving to folks. She won’t even miss it.  She doesn’t mind….”  As Tierra watched this scene unfold, it brought back memories of how she did the same thing.  She remembered her mom complaining about missing a lot of money.  Tierra never took too much money, but now she was wondering whether or not any of the other family members and friends considered it to be acceptable to take her Mom’s money without asking, solely based on her Mom’s willingness to give freely when asked? She wondered if this is what happened to George’s Mom? And then she said, “Will this happen to me?”

After a good while of pondering over what had just happened, George and Tierra arose from their knees. Tierra, being convicted by what she saw in the vision, was actually about to apologize to George, when suddenly, George, not knowing what his wife was about to say, began waving his hand in a friendly manner to stop her from speaking.  Then he said to her, “Baby, I’m sorry.  I’m going to take the guns and put them in a storage facility until I find someone who can take care of them for me, ok?”  Tierra was shocked!  She didn’t even get a chance to pray on George, but she got what she wanted anyway.  She went over to George and gave him a big wife-like hug and, changing the subject, said, “George, I’m sorry for the way I was acting! I should really talk things over with you before giving away so much of our resources.  Can we be friends again?”  George was stunned at Tierra’s response, and he immediately went crazy kissing all over her. Yes! They were happy again. Neither of them knew about the other’s vision.  Neither did they reveal their vision to each other until months later.  For now, they were feasting off the miracle that had just taken place in their life.  Yesterday, they were fighting and refusing to speak to each other, but tonight, their love had grown greater than the day they met. They were exceedingly blessed and fortunate, knowing that their situation could have turned out to be a lot worse.  But George’s willingness to pray, also inspired Tierra to pray,which in turn, opened the door for God to work.

Imagine what would happen if we took the time to consider the other person’s concerns from the start?  Imagine how much unnecessary frustration and precious wastes of time could be avoided?  It is very difficult to acknowledge the other person’s point of view when we have such a strong desire to prove our point.  But that’s why having God in the marriage is a perfect and magnificent choice.

The Unexpected Habits of your Spouse are unavoidable! But with God in the mist, the solutions are enjoyable.